Establishing a Habit of Positive Self-Talk

Hey Ya’ll!

I’m spending time this summer reading some books that I did not get a chance to read. The book that I am currently reading speaks about positive self-talk as an individual. I realize that in order to elevate in life, you must establish a habit of positive self-talk.

Positive self-talk is something that I struggle with from time to time. I suffered from depression at an early age but I hid it for years until I decided to get up, get out and do something about it. Depression is a real thing that comes in different disguises. I hid mine really well. Some of the contributing factors include upbringing, negative energy sources (people, environment, etc.), self-doubt due to cultural stereotypes and disparities and the feeling of inferiority. I am very Type-A about things and I feel as if things have to be perfect before anyone will acknowledge that it is quality. After reading and reflecting today, I realize that all of those feelings are created from external sources. I decided today that I was going to continue to make a change within myself. It must have been God speaking to me because all the signs are showing up today. He has a way of doing that often!

So, this morning I saw a post on Facebook that read:

“I had to stop living for other people because when I won, we won. When I lost, I had to take that L on my own.” – Waylon Bell

After reading that post, I said to myself, “Naw, I can’t take L’s for nobody!” I’m not gonna lie, I took some before though. (Yep…)

Unfortunately, external factors can absorb all of your progress and happiness without you realizing it. Often times we make excuses for why things are the way they are and why the people surrounding us are the way they are. In doing those things, we sacrifice our own glow and happiness. Ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”

In order to start living different, you have to change your way of thinking. Your change of thinking starts with you and how you feel about yourself. We have to train our brain to think positively. Regardless of how bad things get, you can always combat those negatives with positives. Once you have started a routine with training your mind to think positive, you will begin to problem-solve better. When things go left, positive thinking will help put you back on track at some point. When you start off with negatives, you’ve already lost. So try to practice thinking positivity, even when things are a hot mess and in shambles.

Another important contribution to happiness is your surroundings. If you have established the habit of positive self-talk and positive thinking, you have to surround yourself with supportive, like-minded people. People who understand, people who uplift, people who are accepting, people who make you feel safe with being… you. When I was younger and dumb (yes, I can say that I was), I chose people out of the temporary fun they brought to my life, instead of the value. Most of them were detrimental to my peace but because they were “fun and adventurous,” I ignored the red flags. What a terrible way of thinking?

Now, as a 30-year-old adult, I realize that like-minded, supportive people have a huge, positive influence on my life, growth, and happiness.

Start living for you. Start with changing your thoughts and surround yourself with like-minded, supportive people who walk it like they talk it and want you to do the same.

I started back using my journal today and I was able to write down some positive starters from my reading today:

I release the past and now allow myself to be filled with positive thoughts.
I deserve the best and welcome it into my life.
I see good in everyone. Remember, there is always a “Why” to every behavior.
I accept for myself, all the good things that life and work have to offer.
I am worthy and deserving of new challenges that come my way.
I am in the process of making positive changes.

After the many struggles and humbling moments that I have faced in my life, I should know better than to struggle with positive self-talk. Guess what? It happens to the best of us. You’re only as good as you believe you are, so that means you are what you believe you are. You can have what you believe you can. You can only do what you believe you can do. Thoughts are not just thoughts, they become your identity, so it has to start with the way you think. Take care!